To Hell with The World
by Phalanx30
Summary: An AU of "A Hole in the World" in which someone helps Wesley with Fred's sickness.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing present (Locations, Characters, etc.) in the following story, I intend to make no profit off of it. Please don't sue me, there is is nothing to get anyway.

**Spoilers: **Buffy the Vampire Slayer thru Season 7, Angel the Series thru Season 5

To Hell with the World

Chapter 1: A Friend for Wesley

The law offices of the Los Angeles branch of Wolfram & Hart were usually a hub of activity. There were always clients and staff moving into and out of the building at all hours.

Except for this day. The building was unusually quiet and empty. As if the clients of the firm knew something was terribly wrong and that staying away was probably for the best. Even the staff at the company knew something was going on, with the way the new bosses were running around trying to find to a solution to the most pressing of problems: a life and death situation.

The focus of this activity by the upper management of the firm was a sick young woman laying in a hospital bed in the medical wing. Her name was Winifred Burkle, though most people called her "Fred", and the infection she carried was slowly eating her from the inside out. It was a hollowing her out and consuming her to make way for an Old one called Illyria.

One member of this new circle of upper management was desperately trying to find a cure for Fred. Wesley was desperate for two reasons. The first was that having an Old One enter the world, in any form, could be apocalyptic. The second was that he had fallen in love with the woman in question, in fact he had been pining over her for years. She had had an on-again, off-again awareness of his affections. This had recently turned from awareness to a genuine return of said feelings and Wesley had been euphoric about it ever since. He found himself sitting at his desk poring over ancient tomes and scrolls as rapidly as possible in order to find some clue to save Fred from the prospect of an agonizing death.

At this point reality appeared in the form of one of the innumerable lawyers in the building "I'm sorry to interrupt. I just need to know if the Holbine Clan history was here. It was supposed to be faxed to my office."

At this Wesley seethed with frustration and anger while still maintaining a calm outward appearance "It can wait."(1) while discreetly pulling a pistol from a desk drawer.

The Lawyer was unaware of the imminent danger as he replied with a bewildered "These guys are really important. I just need— I mean, the whole company can't be working Miss Burkle's case."

Wesley's grip on the pistol tightened as he started to move his hand to raise the gun while masking the movement with an eerily calm "Of course." which was punctuated by the report of the gun firing. As the lawyer fell to ground screaming and writhing in agony on the bullet hitting his knee, Wesley informed his secretary to send all similarly-minded individuals to him for the same method of persuasion. As he saw the horrified look on his assistant's face he realized what he had said and done. This surprised him, as it seemed he was not himself when Fred's condition was mentioned. The wounded man was taken to medical and Wesley was left alone by his staff who thought he was a bit crazy.

This assessment was partially shared by the man in question as he tried to work out why he reacted that way. '_I'm losing it, I haven't done anything like that since those cyborgs attacked us._' One of the cyborgs, pretending to be Wesley's father, had threatened Fred and had been blown away without any hesitation on Wesley's part. Wesley had been fooled by the pretense completely and so it was that he had to choose between his father and Fred. The choice was made instinctively, as if there had been no choice at all. There his mind stopped _'Of course, it always comes back to her, and now she's dying.'_ At this thought he stopped thinking and simply sat staring at a blank template book before him.

'_If she dies, how could I deal with that, the answer is I-I_' Wesley did not shed tears normally, even in situations where it would have been perfectly acceptable, such as when he been shot and he had thought he was going to die. He didn't intend to weep now, as he had promised himself he would not fall apart until there was no hope left. The flesh and the mind may have been resolute with this promise but the spirit was a different matter. So, again, as if it was someone else in control, tears began to drip onto the blank page. If Wesley had not wrapped up in own thoughts over the possibility of losing the woman he had loved for so long, he might have noticed the slight glow emanating from the template.

After the glimmer was over, a message appeared on the page. It was uncalled for, which was unusual for the templates, as they had to be instructed to display information. Wesley looked down, a bit startled, and read the partially filled page.

**Wes, stop that crying right now, its not gonna help you save her. It's like you're back in Sunnydale, with that high-pitched shriek you made after saving me from that freaky vamp double of Willow. Sheesh, I didn't think you could get any louder and more wimpy than that. Anyway, back to the point, which is that we can save Fred.**

**It won't be easy, especially given what's killing her. Below this are three spells which will give you a chance, and a slim one at that, to avert what you seem to think will be a disaster and a total meltdown for yourself. This is going to be extremely painful for her. The first spell is one to try and transfer some of that to you. This is going to hurt very much, it's not going to be a paper-cut, it'll be more like getting tortured by Faith, only worse. You'll know when to use it. Now, Wesley, this next spell will be more trying for you. You will have to watch Fred die, or at least almost, my boss tells me this little piece of magic will a cause a temporal disruption, he said you would know what that meant. You will have to wait until she says her last words. You have to use the next spell right after you use the second one, as this will be your way to talk someone who can help. Trust me, Wesley, I know how you feel about her. That might be enough to save her. **

Wesley had remembered when they had found out what was happening to Fred. Spike had immediately replied with an emphatic " No. Not this girl. Not this day." Wesley had thought he had found a friend in that comment, and it seemed he had found another, seemingly unlooked for, in his search for the key to Fred's survival.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** See Chapter 1

**Spoilers: **See Chapter 1

To Hell With The World

Chapter 2: Taking Fred Home and Using the Offered Help

Later that same day, after Angel and Spike had left for the resting place of the Old Ones, Wesley had taken Fred back to her apartment. She requested it after Wesley had found her out of her hospital bed. She was in the lab trying to find a cure. This was difficult as the sickness began shutting her body down one system at a time. Wesley had sworn, on his very life, that her friends would prevent her from dying.

Wesley had carried Fred into her own bedroom so she would be more comfortable as she waited for the two en-souled vampires to get to the to Deeper Well and find the thing that would assuredly save her.

She had slept fitfully and painfully, and he had attempted to comfort her by reading to her. She had convulsed in agony and Wesley had tried to give her medication only to watch in horror as her skin had hardened to the point where he couldn't even inject anything that might dull the pain. He had decided to use the first spell he got from the message.

Fred had just come out of the convulsion and seemed to be tolerating the pain better "I'm with him!" she yelled and indicated Wesley as if to show that this is why she should live. As if to emphasize this point she pleaded "He won't leave me now. We're so close"

Wesley had to summon a great deal of strength to keep his voice steady and calm, he couldn't afford to be sorrowful now as it would just make a bad situation worse, "I will never leave you." He looked into her eyes and hoped she understood just how ernest that vow was.

He placed his hand over her heart after another bout of pain had come and gone "That was bad, but it's better now. You won't leave me?" That would she even ask the question just showed Wesley how bad things were getting. "I won't." while thinking _'Never, for anything, will I abandon you. As surely as the sun will rise, I will be with you."_

Fred smiled at him and he found it amazing that she could still manage to comfort him, even when she needed to be reassured that the pain and the impending death would stop. "Fred, do you trust me?" She looked at him in surprise, as if the question was unnecessary, and nodded with a pained smile.

Wesley stared at her for a bit and made a decision, "Fred, I received a message earlier today, I didn't tell Angel or Spike about it because they needed to focus on their own task, part of the message included a spell that could take some of your pain away." Fred's smile turned and she gasped, "No, please, you can't take this Wes, I know how it feels, I don't want you to hurt. Not like this."

Wesley pleaded with her "Fred, I swore to remain with you and to help you survive, don't force me to watch you die, helpless and hopeless. I beg you, please allow me to do this." His eyes were glistening with unshed tears and Fred realized that she couldn't dissuade him from using the spell.

Wesley became determined and instructed, "No matter what happens during this, keep my hand over your heart." Fred nodded and folded her hands over his own, ensuring it wouldn't move. Wesley began the repetitive incantation and focused on the intent of the spell with the repeated thought behind it '_By the love and light of my life, let me bear some of your pain for a time'_

As the spell went on, a gold-tinged white light began to encompass his body, it moved down to the hand that was connected to Fred. As it made contact with her, she shivered a bit before a cyan light moved into Wesley's body. He felt the pain, and oh, the message was right, this was worse than anything from before. If this was only a portion of the pain that Fred was enduring, what must she be suffering. He was astounded that she was still holding on '_No, not her, of any of us, she does not deserve this suffering.' _

He slumped forward into Fred and began trembling from the pain. Fred had regained some of the clarity from before the pain had seized her and held Wesley with tear-stained cheeks "I told you it would hurt Wes, you insisted, it's better now but I can still it feel what it's doing to me."

Wes looked at her and with a pain-filled gasp affirmed "Fred, dear lord, if this is what you're going through, I would gladly take all of the pain myself if I could, but I can't and I'm sorry, this is just one more failure tacked onto a life full of them." Fred frowned at him, "Wesley, I know you care about me. Stop blaming yourself, I'm the one who opened that lousy sarcophagus. I couldn't wish this on you. Wait as sec, this message you got, did it tell you how to rescue me?"

Wes responded with a purpose "There is a chance, but there were no promises." Although he hoped, somehow, that there would be some certainty to come with the remaining spells. Unknown to both of them the connection that had been created from the spell and the pain was still open.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** See Chapter 1

**Spoilers: **See Chapter 1

To Hell With The World

Chapter 3: Die to Live

It was a bit later in the day and Fred's pain had increased. She knew it wouldn't be long now. She was not worried about herself, at least the pain would be taken away. She was concerned about Wesley, however, as he didn't seem quite himself. Whenever he was like this, one way or the other, it didn't turn out well, especially for those who got in his way. She wasn't naive, she knew that the sarcophagus being in the lab had been part of someone's plan, whether her being infected was an accident or not, it wouldn't matter to Wesley, he might seek vengeance, even if it was undeserved. He might destroy himself in the process, she didn't want that.

The one thing that did scare her was the fact that he had begged to help her earlier. He had never done that before. Fred had heard the stories of when Faith had first come to town, how she had tortured Wesley almost to death, he hadn't pleaded for his life then. But for her at this time he had implored and insisted to the point of desperation. She had to do something with the little time she had left to reassure him that it would be alright eventually.

'_Okay, first step, show him I care about him.' _As she thought this she said, "Will you kiss me?" Wesley didn't respond, he just did as she asked, holding and kissing her with all the love he could muster. He cursed the thing infecting her, as her lips had become nearly as hard as her skin, he doubted she could feel his touch any longer. '_What cruel twist is this, that she would be denied one of the most basic forms of comfort and affection at the end, the message never said anything about this.'_

As his thoughts whirled, he failed to notice that the kiss was more than it seemed, as same light exchange from before, happened again on a smaller scale and it took a little more of the suffering away. Unfortunately, it was not enough to be noticed by either of them. Fred was thinking of what to say next when a surge of pain ripped through her mind and body. Instead of her plan, she gasped out a disjointed question "Would you have loved me?"

Wesley was surprised by the question, as he thought he had made his feelings clear before. If she needed more from him, he would give her an absolute truth "I've loved you since I've known you. No, that's not-I think maybe even before."

At this Fred began to tear up, it would not be okay for him after this, ever. She thought back and realized why he reacted to her the way he did all this time. One moment stood out in her memory, it was after he had been infected by Billy Blim, she had been forced to save herself by knocking Wesley out. After that he had hid from everyone, especially her. Finally, she had gone to his apartment and found him broken and unsure of himself. She recalled their conversation when he had said "I meant to call you back. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He wasn't apologising for the lack of a return call. He was apologizing for trying to kill her, among other things, when he was seized by the effects of Billy's blood.

Fred grabbed onto this comment and figured it was an appropriate response to his declaration of love. "I'm 'so' sorry." Wes's tears matched Fred's at this point.

He began babbling "No, no, no..." as if he could stop this horror by denial and his will alone, if only it were that easy. Wesley raged at the harshness of the world with a flurry of thoughts that were part prayer, part condemnation. '_Of all the people and demons I've encountered, none deserves this, her least of all. I merit this punishment far more, do you hear me messenger? Let this pass from her._' Wesley had been so concentrated on his thoughts that he failed to notice that Fred had continued to speak. He was aware of only his thoughts, her dying face, and his shattering spirit.

He was brought out of his haze by a phrase he had been dreading and waiting for, as Fred sniffled "Please, Wesley, why can't I stay?"

Again, as earlier, Wesley felt as if a switch had been thrown. His overwhelming grief became wrapped in a steely resolve. As he watched the glimmer of life leave Fred's eyes he whispered a quick and sharp incantation in an ancient tongue. The effect was to create a bubble around the couple. Within which nothing seemed to move, not even the dying soul. The incantation would been rendered thus, "By my Love, I bid time halt!" He now found himself in a surreal situation, looking at the face of his beloved who was not quite alive, and who had not yet passed on.

He than began the third and last spell which involved a long and precise invocation. He couldn't afford to have anything go wrong, as this was his only chance to keep the vow he made to Fred. The spell was supposed to grant the caster an audience with The Powers that Be, though Wesley was uncertain why the message had included it. He, Fred, and the rest of the gang worked for the Powers apparent enemies, those entities that controlled the law firm, the Senior Partners.

He knew it had worked when he felt a slight pull at his soul, a blinding pain in his body, and a final thought before his spirit was ripped into a higher plain of existence '_I pray that I can save her._'

He realized the transfer was complete when the pain stopped and he became aware of his surroundings. He was a in featureless cloudy sea of grey. He was still taking in the almost nothing when a voice spoke and echoed around him. "Mortal, you are not permitted here, why have you come?"

Wesley felt relieved now, he was talking to someone who could help, "I was given a message that included a way to enter this place, and potentially save the life of one Winifred Burkle, who was infected with an Old One." The previous voice was joined by others who shouted as one. "We sent no such message! And we care not for this single insignificant life, Illyria will be a great asset to our plans."

Wesley railed back "How can you call her life irrelevant, she has aided your Champion in the fight against evil. How can Illyria be an asset?" Within, Wesley was seething at their callous disregard for Fred.

The Powers rejoined "How an old one can help us is no concern of yours. Fighting evil is not the goal, maintaining the balance between good and evil is our paramount objective, too much of either and the world falls into chaos."

Wesley's hopes evaporated at this point "So you will not help me?" He had resigned himself to the inevitable, of going back to his body and watching the horror of Fred's death and his failure, when he heard a new, singular, sure, and a startlingly familiar voice.

"Wesley, these losers won't help you, but I will if I can." Wesley turned and saw the form of a young woman wreathed in light. Wesley smiled, his hope and resolve re-emerging.

"Hey, Cordelia."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** See Chapter 1

**Spoilers: **See Chapter 1

To Hell With The World

Chapter 4: Meetings, Revelations, and Decisions

The arrival of Cordelia caused the many voices that were belittling and denying Wesley to apologize "We are sorry, oh messenger, we did not realize you had sent for this mortal, if it is your pleasure we shall remove ourselves so you may serve your master, for we are but the Powers, and would dare not interfere with your duties."

Cordelia smiled "Thanks, now leave me and my friend alone." At this the voices of the Powers receded and Wesley felt them leave the area. With shock and a faint smile he inquired "Cordelia, did you just tell off the Powers that Be?"

The aforementioned women smirked "Pfft, 'the Powers' what a joke, I mean aside from a few mind-numbing visions, they don't do much at all. As you just saw, boy they were so helpful, huh?"

Wesley chuckled a bit, still the same Cordy, ever tactful "Yes, they seemed to be very eager to get me out of here. So, you sent me the message earlier?"

Cordy move closer to where he was standing, "Sheesh, you know, for a watcher you sure missed a big one there. Didn't mentioning Sunnydale ring any bells. I couldn't just put my name down, the "people" you work for wouldn't have let you see the message if I'd done that."

Wesley couldn't help but feel comfortable, it was good to hear her voice again, Fred was right. Cordy was still the heart of the team. "I suppose you're right, I wanted to thank you. I know you didn't promise anything but a chance, but that's better than nothing. I hated being unable to do anything, especially because it's Fred."

Cordy's smile slipped a bit "Wes, do you know why I sent you the message?

He looked at her a bit confused "I remember something about me being too loud."

She laughed "Yeah, and it wasn't you crying in your office. it was that your soul was wailing like an air raid siren here, and it was because of her. Boy Wes, when you fall, you fall hard and all the way."

Still confused Wesley asked, "What do you mean? I love Fred, I have for a long time, I don't see anything unusual or special about it, why would my love be any different?"

Cordelia got an annoyed expression on her face, resisted the urge to smack Wesley, and sighed "Wesley, ever since she showed up, you've changed. Before you went to Pylea, you were mostly a nerdy research-guy. Even going to Pylea was about rescuing me. But when you saw her, something changed, you became this ruthless leader, willing to sacrifice anyone to make sure you got her out of there."

Recognition flitted across Wes's face "What changed? I know I sometimes act differently around her, but I thought that it was just out of love."

The annoyance softened a bit "Wes, what do you know about soul mates?"

Wesley was surprised by the question "I always thought it was a quaint, romantic notion, you're saying Fred and...I...are..."

Cordy cut him off "No, jeez, dramatic much, that kinda thing is very rare, what happened with you is that part of your soul latched onto Fred and your actions since then have been guided by that attachment. I mean you thought blowing your father away was because of your love for Fred, it runs deeper than that, she became your reason for fighting the good fight, it really became clear when you took Connor..."

Wesley cut her off in turn, "Who?"

Cordelia let out a groan and said "Oh crap, Angel and his stupid mind-wipe. Okay Wes, Angel has a son named Connor and he altered all of your memories to help Connor live a normal life."

Wesley was shocked "He did what! Why do you remember?"

Cordelia got a haughty look, "Hello, Higher being here, like some two-bit memory spell could touch me, anyway, do you want those memories back? I should warn you some of them are pretty awful?

Wesley nodded "Please restore them, Cordelia, at the very least if it comes to pass that Fred is unable to be saved, I will have more experiences, lovely or terrible, of her.

Cordelia sniffled a bit "Alright, Wesley, before I do this you have to promise me that you will work through all of this later, after we deal with Fred. That time-freezing mojo I sent is good but it won't last forever."

Wesley responded with an agitated "I promise, do it"

At that Cordelia simply touched Wesley on the cheek and with the barest hint of power and not a word spoken the memory spell, that had been painstakingly created by Wolfram & Hart at enormous cost, was torn asunder.

Wesley was assaulted by memories of a baby, and Angel happier than ever. He remembered the prophecy that Angel would kill the baby, Connor, and he felt the anguish of his decision to protect them both by taking Connor away. He saw his failure when Connor was taken by Justine while he was left to die. He heard Angel promise his real death later in the hospital room. The deepest pain didn't come until later when Fred had appeared in the same room and told him that the prophecy was false and that he should never come back to the group for his own safety.

He recalled the next year that was dominated by the presence of Connor as a teenager and as an embodiment of vengeance for the man who had sworn it upon Angel. He had other memories that were within this time as well that were not altered, chiefly those of his exile and his relationship with Lilah, but they had been like snippets from a movie, images and sounds without the surrounding context. He went on to recall his eventual acceptance back into the group with the drama surrounding the Beast, Angelus, and the fight against a rogue Power, Jasmine.

Wesley stared at Cordelia after the avalanche of new information "Well, I can see why Angel would want keep those things hidden, thanks Cordy, I'm sorry about what happened to you with your body being used as a vessel for that malevolent higher being wearing the mask of peace, you didn't deserve that."

Cordy smiled "You're right Wes, I was just supposed to be vision-girl. Fred doesn't deserve what's happening to her either."

Wesley became grim "No, her least of all, now to the purpose of your message to me, can I save Fred?"

Cordy sighed "Yes, there is a chance, the bad news is the price will be incredibly high."

"What is it? Is it my life? If that is so, take it, her worth far outweighs my own." Wesley responded while he stared at Cordelia without fear.

Cordy stared back and laughed "No not your life, Wes, your principles, oaths, and possibly Fred's love, but not your life. We're not that cruel. My boss values love, especially the kind of soul-shattering adoration that you have. The first part of the price involves the Deeper Well and drawing Illyria out of Fred.

Wesley started "Angel and Spike are already pursuing that, why would it be under your purview?"

"Wesley, they can save her, but they won't because if you take Illyria out and throw her back to the Well, thousands of people will die, as Illyria won't go quietly." Cordy has said this last with some nervousness as this was a crucial point for Wesley and Fred.

Wesley became angry "What's the point of all of this then! How can you possibly help!?"

Cordy became equally testy, "Hey, Wesley, Shut up, did I mention my boss, well, he makes the Powers look like weaklings. He can force Angel and Spike and the Guardian of the Well to extract Illyria. You just have to agree to it..."

Again, as if a switch had been thrown, another part of himself had taken over. Like with the lawyer earlier, with his cyborg father, and the countless other times a situation arose where Fred was threatened. The best and worst of himself came out and he cut Cordy off with a terse "Do it."

Cordy was a bit startled "Wow, I was right about you and Fred. Back in Sunnydale you were all set to sacrifice Willow to make sure that a demon didn't arise and destroy the town."

Wes replied with gritted teeth "I am not a watcher any longer. That greater good nonsense works only in fairy tales. The world is dark and brutal, Fred is the light. Now please, Cordelia, send Illyria back to where the old ones belong. You said that this was just the first part of the price, what's the rest of it?"

Cordy gave him a familiar smile "Okay then, my boss needs you to act as his tool on earth. There are other souls like yours that need to be mended, for their sake and the worlds. You will be able to see who they are, and I will help you when needed. Love is the common cause here, or something greater than that."

Wesley said simply "Alright."

Cordy replied in a softer voice "Wesley, the last part is the hardest, Fred has to agree to be saved, she has to come here when you leave."

Wesley hung his head "Will I get to talk to her before she decides?

"No, Wesley, you can't."

"Cordelia, could you give her memories back before she decides? And tell her..."

She cut him off in turn "How you feel about her. Wes, she knows, and is going to know more. And the memories are important to her decision. Of course I will restore them."

"Well, what happens now? And thank you Cordelia."

"You're welcome, Wesley, it's time for you to go back, I'll see you and all the rest later. Tell Angel, when you see him, that he is still a champion. He will be Mr. Broody after what is going to happen at the Well."

After this Wesley felt a lurch and saw nothing until he could use his own physical eyes again, which were still staring at the dead but not dead face of his love.

He saw the light of her soul leave her eyes and her entire soul leave her body, pass through his own body and soul, and it was then pulled out and sent like a bullet to the place where she would meet with Cordelia.

When Fred's soul was in transit through him, he felt all the fear and pain she had gone through. As well as the warmth and comfort she had tried to show earlier. He tried to respond with the same and more. He wouldn't know until later that he had wholly succeeded in his reassurance.

Despite this, Fred was alone now.


End file.
